When it comes to weddings, the bride and groom usually have the final say over what rules guests are expected to follow.
This includes everything, from wedding guest attire to how many plus ones guests can bring along. One wedding guest says she was asked to leave her daughter at home so that her cousin’s wedding could be a kid-free one.
Having a child-free wedding is very common. Nearly 80% of 4,000 couples who got married in 2024 were in favor of them.
However, to the woman’s surprise, she showed up to the venue to see it full of youngsters.
No children allowed?
As reported by People, she shared her dilemma on Reddit, in the popular r/AITA subreddit.
“AITA for leaving my cousins wedding early without saying goodbye?” the 35-year-old asked. She then detailed what she said happened a few years back.
“We noticed on the invitation that it said no children, and at the time we had a 2 year old daughter. I inquired to ensure that it was a childfree event and was told yes it was because it was being held at a winery and the only children in attendance would be the flower girls and ring bearer, and I said, Ok,” she shared.
So she and her husband arranged for her mother-in-law to travel to the city where the wedding was happening. This was so that her mother-in-law could watch their kid for them while they were at the wedding.
“However, when we arrived we saw that there were other children at the event, under the age of 19,” she said (She clarified in a comment the kids in attendance ranged from 3 to 11). “My husband and I were furious. We stayed for the ceremony and dinner, but left before the speeches, cake cutting, dancing, any of that, without saying goodbye.”
She said she told several other guests who asked about their daughter’s whereabouts that they were told the wedding was child-free.
Redditors’ insight
Redditors who commented on the post said they felt the poster should have given her cousin the benefit of the doubt. They said what likely happened was that the other guests disregarded the child-free rule by bringing their children.
“YTA and really so is any guest who brought a kid to the wedding. The invitations said it was a childfree event. What is more likely: the wedding couple giving everyone except OP an exemption from the child free rule to specifically spite OP or that several sets of parents decided the rules didn’t apply to them, brought kids, and the wedding couple chose to not toss these guests out on their ears,” one Redditor wrote.
“It seems more likely that those other people brought their kids in spite of that request, as opposed to the bride/groom intentionally excluding you from bringing your kid,” another Reddit user suggested. “YTA for misplacing that aggravation as the responsibility of the bride.”
They also thought the woman should have found a better way to handle the situation.
“Leaving in a snit because you couldn’t bring your toddler is extremely childish,” one Redditor wrote.
“If the invitation said no children, those who brought their children were either inconsiderate or had an emergency. Meaning, you originally did the right thing by leaving your child with your MIL — but then you left early because you were unhappy your toddler wasn’t there. I think leaving without saying goodbye was in bad form. YTA,” another said.
NTA?
Others, however, assumed the cousin lied to the woman.
“NTA – your cousin flat out lied to you & caused extra hassle (and presumably expense) with needing to have your MIL join you on the trip. I doubt if you had said anything it would’ve been well received, so leaving quietly was honestly kinder than they deserved,” one said.
“NTA – you got robbed of a fun night out! Totally understandable what you different, I would have been dumbfounded once I saw other young children there!” another exclaimed.
Regardless of the cousin’s intentions, if a wedding invitation says a wedding is child-free, it’s proper etiquette to leave your young one at home.
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