If you’re constantly getting “the ick” while on dates, research suggests it could reflect more about your personality than your partner’s quirks.
A new study published in Personality and Individual Differences reveals that people who frequently feel “the ick“—an unexpected, visceral repulsion toward a romantic partner—often score higher in traits like narcissism and other-oriented perfectionism.
“The ‘ick’ has become an increasingly prevalent topic over the last few decades,” explained lead author Eliana Saunders, a graduate student at Azusa Pacific University.
Although the concept dates back to the ’90s in pop culture, TikTok has helped give it new life, especially among Gen Z. That viral boost is what inspired Saunders and her team to take a deeper dive.
They began by analyzing over 80 TikTok videos that described ick-worthy behavior. Then, they surveyed 125 single adults to see who was most likely to get the ick, and why.
Narcissists and perfectionists were more ick-prone
The findings showed clear patterns. People with higher narcissism scores were far more likely to experience sudden revulsion over minor flaws. These reactions weren’t random; they were tied to unmet ideals.
Similarly, people high in other-oriented perfectionism—those who place unrealistic expectations on others—felt the ick more frequently, and over more diverse behaviors.
One interesting finding is that those with heightened disgust sensitivity reported stronger ick reactions, though not necessarily more of them. So while sensitivity can sharpen the response, personality traits like narcissism appear to drive how often the ick strikes.
Gender differences existed, but they were subtle
Although both men and women reported getting the ick at similar rates, the triggers varied. Women often mentioned things like misogynistic behavior or awkward public displays. Meanwhile, men were more likely to call out vanity or being too trendy as deal-breakers.
The pilot study of TikTok videos was predominantly of women describing their “ick” trigger experiences. Meanwhile, the second study expanded to include a more balanced range of people actively answering questions about their personal tastes and times they had experienced “the ick.”
“I thought it was surprising that about a quarter of participants reported ending a relationship immediately upon experiencing the ick,” Saunders said. She noted that while the feeling might reflect genuine incompatibility, it could also stem from internal hang-ups: narcissism, other-oriented perfectionism, or high sensitivity to disgust.
So next time you’re ready to ghost someone for saying something awkward in public one too many times, take a moment. The ick might be telling you more about yourself than them.
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